Positive Thinking Will Always Be Challenged
In all the joy, comfort, and heightened expectations brought on by positive thinking, it will always be challenged by negative thinking. If you had to choose between a positive or negative experience, you’d probably choose positive. There is a tremendous amount of energy and endless possibilities one can achieve from positive thinking. The experiences are amazing and transcend into every aspect of your life. Not only do you get to enjoy these experiences, but your loved ones will share the same.
A Positive Experience
It was nearing the end of August 2019, everyone was making final preparations for the new school term. Many local businesses and organizations provided support for the communities by hosting back-to-school giveaways. Items like clothing, shoes, and hair care were provided for the students. The children all anticipated showing off their new gears, but on September 1, when the eye of Hurricane Dorian made landfall on the Abaco Islands with maximum sustained winds of 185 mph (295 km/h), making it the strongest hurricane on record to affect the Bahamas.
Meanwhile, after experiencing Dorian for 2 days, I sat on my bedroom floor using my husband’s phone surfing through social media in hopes of receiving word from Abaco by anyone who would have seen or heard from my parents post Dorian. I was doing well until family members started messaging asking if I had heard from them yet. It started to weigh on me, and from then I had sleepless nights, crying uncontrollably. I continued searching social media for answers to my uncertainty. Instead, I ended up with a ton of images that added more pain to my soul. Four days later I got a voice note that my parents survived.
I later managed to get out of the house and drove throughout Grand Bahama with my husband and daughter. What I saw made me weak to my stomach, and broke down in tears. I had a flashback of the time my family and I had to evacuate our home during hurricanes Frances and Jeanne in West Grand Bahama 2004. We stayed at a family member’s house until we could rebuild. I looked at the homes that were ripped apart and the heap of debris that sat out at every residence for miles from water damages.
Areas that never experienced flooding were flooded. Schools are closed, many businesses including the financial institutes are closed. There is no power, and I’ve got an automated message in my mailbox notifying me of my new power bill. It’s amazing how your world can stop, and everything around you will continue to go on. This feels like enough to make you give up. To ask how will you get back on your feet again. We are not alone, others have passed this way before, we just did not expect the outcome to be this way.
Negative Thinking
Life can approach you with unforeseen circumstances such as sickness, death, natural disasters, or a shift in the economy. It’s like an unexpected slap in the face that leaves you permanently twisted. These experiences can no doubt change your way of living, but also your thinking.
It is heart-wrenching to watch as a loved one’s health deteriorates. Throughout the experience, you remain optimistic and then death strikes. There may be thoughts that constantly surfaces such as, ‘They have done so much and don’t deserve to go through the pain and suffering that they did’, or ‘They are too young and have not lived a full life’, or ‘How could a loving God allow a loving person to die, my child/children will not experience life with their grandparent(s)’, and this one that I hear often, ‘I did not get to say goodbye,’ or ‘I wish I had time to show my love and appreciation like I should have.’
Disaster can knock you right off your feet, and all you’ve worked so hard for can suddenly get lost in a terrible storm, fire, business or home bank foreclosure, you lost your job, your spouse, loving pet, or automobile. The thoughts associated with these experiences are, I am grateful to be alive but how do I move on from this, I don’t know where to start or how to get my life back on track, I worked hard to purchase this house or business, why didn’t I purchase the damn insurance, starting over is difficult, I have nowhere to go and no food to eat, I wish I had saved up some of that money while I had a chance, I guess this is the rainy day grandma was talking about, or I am living from paycheck to paycheck and drowning in debt.
Focusing only on these dark, lonely, confused, heartbroken and fearful thoughts, seemingly feels difficult to filter out and it becomes a cycle of that ‘WHY ME’ song, or the victim’s mindset until you decide to let go of them. During hard times your brain can lack the motivation needed to drive you out of this negative sphere.
Thinking Influences the Outcome of Your Circumstances
The way you think has a major influence on the outcome of any situation you encounter. If you walk around with the impression that things will not change, or you cannot move on, then it most likely will become your reality.
Mayo Clinic.org has an article for stress management titled, Positive Thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress. written by Mayo Clinic Staff who says positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you are optimistic or pessimistic – and it even may reflect your health. It further says that The positive thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. Effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don’t despair — you can learn positive thinking skills.
I am one who believed in proper planning and following through with it. I recall some of my experiences when hosting a few events and things did not go as planned, I would have a nervous breakdown. My spouse told me on several occasions that I needed to learn how to go with the flow. This was one chic who was a diehard supporter of her event plan. As time progressed it became clear to me that some experiences were beyond my control. I became more optimistic when obstacles came and this has truly helped me to be where I am today. I started embracing those unexpected moments and what had seemed to be sabotage, I viewed as an opportunity to master the negative thoughts that would lead me to hate, bitterness, and retaliation.
Positive Thinking
Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist, and researcher at the University of North Carolina developed the study of emotions. Her research, Broaden and Build Theory shows that when you are experiencing positive emotions, you will see more possibilities in your life. It showed how important positive thinking is to survive. Your thoughts play a vital role in the progress of your life’s outcome. Someone who thinks positively is convinced that they can overcome unforeseen circumstances or accomplish any aspired opportunity that arises.
As I reflect on the stories I’ve heard from survivors of hurricane Dorian, many shared how the flooding forced them to escape to their ceiling for hours, and for others a few days. The thought of uncertainty as you watched the waves shove your house contents back and forth. You look outside, but all you see is the ocean. In the midst of a terrifying encounter, a glimmer of hope remains within you fighting for survival. In the end, many lost their lives or the lives of loved ones.
Positive thinking is created by an individual. You make a choice to filter out the negative thoughts (voices) in your head and create positive thoughts. You decide to change because you recognize the need to improve your disposition. By thinking positively you not only change yourself, but you affect those around you to react in like manner.
Have you ever experienced a ‘feel good’ moment and someone with a negative attitude shifted your frame of mind? What a bummer! What about a time you were so angry you saw or felt yourself kicking down a door, throwing a computer or dishware, perhaps punching a hole in the wall? Like lightning, it flashed across your mind. My goodness! In that instance, you have a choice to react negatively or positively. Which do you choose?
Born with fighting instinct: How positive thinking changed my life, and how it can change yours
I’ve proven over and over again with my experiences that it is associated with peace, love, and harmony. It attracts growth, strength, and success. I will dismiss the negative thoughts because I know they are associated with anger, pain, and chaos which can lead to mischief.
Embrace the change that has occurred in your life and be conscious about creating positive thoughts to counteract negative thoughts that arise.
Here are some helpful tips to thinking positively:
- Think before you act
- Ignore what other people say or think about you, stay focused on yourself.
- Think of where you want to see yourself
- Use positive words when you’re thinking to yourself or when talking with coaches & teammates.
- Smile a little more when you’re playing, as this helps to think positively.
- It is ok to get angry, but do not react violently
- Be patient while expecting positive results
Managing Your Thoughts
Managing your thoughts is what it all boils down to. When someone says to you, “I can’t help it.” or, “I can’t make it.” they are really saying they don’t’ want to be responsible for governing their own actions. This begins with one’s thinking; filtering out negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts. There is nothing wrong with becoming emotional over your loss. What you may experience now somehow may feel like a never-ending pain, but you will get through no matter how long it takes.
In the midst of the negative stories I saw on social media, there were several positive ones where the global community poured in their condolences for the lives lost and encouragement for us to hang in there. They came on private yachts, and airplanes to bring relief items to us. My family and I are so grateful for the love shown.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, my brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are pure, Whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Positive thinking creates a healthy environment within and without oneself. It has been my experience to take the initiative of creating or finding solutions for your circumstances instead of letting those circumstances consume and destroy you.